Feather
Flight: And
Then
You'll Say to Me… (part
31)
An AU Kuja fic, shonen-ai, language
*****
*****
Talk of surgery, of cutting and bones, of potential risks, all of it was too far beyond Laro’s comprehension. The basics of the matter he understood well enough. Masa would only get better if the device that had poisoned him was removed, and if what he had lost was somehow replaced. Precisely how it was his lover had the piece of technology inside him, and how exactly Mikoto planed to infuse him with new elements from Zidane, he wasn’t sure he wanted to understand.
Even the thought of someone cutting into Masa was enough to make him feel sick. And from what little he did understand, there would be a great deal of cutting involved. Warily, he had watched over his lover through the first several rounds of debates. Brother and sister had warred verbally over every step of Mikoto’s proposed treatment, questioning, challenging, and finally coming to a compromise. The only thing that had made the macabre experience even remotely tolerable was that he had been all but strong-armed by his mage into his current roll as sort of human bolster-pillow.
Given his options, Laro felt it was no hardship to prop himself against the bed’s headboard and act as a sentient pillow for Masa’s back. Had he been dismissed to the sidelines while others had decided things without him Laro was certain he’d have gone quietly insane. It wasn’t that he had any say now, but at least he could be present, provide what support he could. It helped to know he wasn’t entirely useless to his lover.
Secretly, he had vastly enjoyed the quiet moments between visitors when his kitten would just lay against his shoulder. Sometimes he could make Masa laugh with stories from his youth. Most of the time the silver haired man napped and healed, bonelessly relaxed against Laro’s chest. Even acting as nursemaid, helping Masa with the mundane chores of bathing, dressing, eating, had a certain nostalgic appeal. It was how they had met, after all, in that sleepy coastal town. It felt like it had been a lifetime ago instead of just two years.
Watching as his little kitten devoured twice as much per meal as he had ever witnessed certainly gave him cause to hope. His mage seemed quite determined to regain his physical strength. Only days after his awakening, he was badgering Mikoto to get out of bed. Much to the relief of many of the doctors, she refused quite sternly to let him do anything more active than sit up unassisted. But Laro had no doubt that Kuja would have his way soon enough. If anything, their increasingly animated arguments were a comforting sign. So long as Masa understood what it was he and Mikoto argued about, and challenged the things he didn’t like, Laro couldn’t see how he could protest any dangers. And if he occasionally tightened his grip around his lover’s waist in fear over the things he heard them debate, at least Masa was kind enough not to tease him about it.
This morning at least, promised to be mostly Mikoto free. Laro nuzzled the top of his partner’s head, eliciting a chuckle from the man as he finished the last of an enormous breakfast. “Done?”
“For the moment.” Kuja let him set the dish aside, almost purring with contentment as he transferred his interests from food to his other favorite thing. Curling up against him as Laro settled back on the bed, the mage looked fit to doze off again.
“You make me want to rub your belly and scratch under your chin when you look like that. My little kitten stuffed to the whiskers…”
“Laro, as cute as your insistence in my feline quality is, I really must point out that genomes as a whole, aren’t supposed to be catlike.”
“I’ve noted on occasion that your brother is more of an oversized monkey, if that’s what you’re implying.” The soldier chuckled. “I actually saw him get his tail around a large wineglass at one point.”
“I can’t confess myself surprised.” Kuja drawled. “I’ve seen him hang from tree branches by it.”
“Are your tails really that strong?” Laro wondered aloud. “How come you’ve never made use of yours?”
“I think Zidane must have practiced a great deal to get the level
of flexibility and strength he has.”
Masa answered sourly. “At least, I
don’t _think_
“So you _could_ do tricks with your tail too.” He received an elbow in the stomach for his pondering, and groaning, reached down to capture the warlike appendage. “Ow. That’s not very nice.”
“I do not do _tricks_, Laro Nazer.” Masa snorted primly. “I am not a performing monkey.”
“I didn’t say you were.” Still playing the part of wounded, he gave his lover mournful looks until the man relented and gave him a kiss. “I just think it’d be handy to have a prehensile tail. Wouldn’t it be fun to be able to close doors, or the like?”
“The effort it would take to successfully turn a doorknob would be far better spent just turning around and using a hand.” Masa shook his head. Frowning he shifted and demonstrated his own lesser potential. The tightest the silver furred appendage seemed able to twist was about the diameter of Laro’s wrist. The maneuver required some effort it seemed, Masa relaxed the pose after only a moment, letting his tail resume its former resting place tucked down against his legs. “Besides, what use is an appendage firmly attached to one’s backside? It’s hardly a convenient location.”
Laro stifled a laugh, caught sight of Masa’s arch look, and promptly had to stifle another. “I refuse to answer that on the grounds that if I do you’ll label me a pervert.”
“You are a pervert, Laro. Mine, to be precise.” A kiss softened the pronouncement. The silver haired man shifted until he was comfortably ensconced in Laro’s lap, lounging against his chest. “You are also, without a doubt, a paragon of a man in every other sense. So let this be your one, and paltry flaw.”
“If you say so, it must be true.” Laro set aside his teasing for a moment, enchanted by the laughter in his mage’s eyes. Even intimately close, Masa looked dramatically improved. Some combination of Mikoto’s treatments, and his voracious appetite had worked wonders at filling in the hollows in his face and limbs. His kitten was still alarmingly thin, compared to how he ought to be, but at least the man was no longer skeletal. Pleased beyond words at the recovery he’d witnessed, Laro hugged Masa firmly and buried his face into his silky hair. “I would give anything to see you healthy again.”
“Who knows.” Masa sneaked a hand free to catch his cheek, drawing him closer for a warm sort of kiss. “You may just get your wish by the end of the week.”
Not wanting to think about the mechanics of the cure that would take place, Laro cast about for something else to say. Happily a gust of breeze from the open balcony windows gave him an opportunity. “Well, what would you like to do in the mean time?”
“Other than sleep and eat, you mean?” Kuja laughed freely. “A person could get used to this level of indolence, I fear. Really I must get out of this thrice-damned bed today, or I shall go quite quite mad.”
“Easy enough to accomplish.” Laro shifted to get his arms around his lover properly and lift, but found his armful to be suddenly squirming free in a playful manner. “Hey now!”
“Under my _own_ power, if you please, sir! I may not be a kitten, but I am not a doll either!” Laughing Masa found the dexterity to escape, nearly rolling on the floor as he did. Laro reached out to steady him near the edge of the bed until the genome could get his breath back. Flipping his hair playfully over his shoulder as he looked back, Masa sighed, and offered him an autocratic look. “I will however, allow you the honor of assisting me off the bed.”
Hauling himself to his feet first, the soldier swept a ludicrous bow. “Your wish is my command.”
Still tangled in the sheets, Masa tried to reach the closest pillow to throw, but couldn’t quite get his fingers around it. Laro prevented a second attempt by claiming the outstretched hand and using that to leverage his lover up into a sitting position. “Shall we see how wobbly you are?”
“I’ll have you know I never ‘wobble’, sir.” His kitten was still pretending to be haughty, but his eyes twinkled at the sport. Unfortunately his legs were determined to prove him a liar. As soon as he tried to stand his knees buckled, leaving him grabbing onto Laro’s arms as the soldier caught him. Glancing upwards, still entertained, Masa didn’t let the failure upset him. “I might collapse on occasion, but never wobble.”
Acting on whimsy, Laro not only pulled Kuja to his feet but easily hoisted him up into the air until he could get an arm beneath his tail and support him. Pinned against his stomach and chest like a child, the genome almost yowled in surprise. But even stubborn kittens knew better than to punch the man holding them aloft in the head out of spite, so his struggles were somewhat hampered by his desire to not fall.
Earlier, Masa had demanded his blue lounging robe, claiming he was sick to death of all the drab hospital colors he was surrounded by. Now the brilliant shade contrasted beautifully with the pale skin of his neck and shoulders. Shifted well askew from their recent struggle it was more of an accent than a piece of apparel.
Leaning forward, Laro pressed his face against the thin shoulder, listening to his kitten’s excited heartbeat. The need for something more was too sweet to dismiss. Parting his lips to taste the smooth bounty in reach the soldier reminded himself of everything he had mourned the loss of in recent months.
It was growing progressively harder, he found, to spend all day in close quarters with his lover and maintain his promise to ‘not encourage anything’. The healthier Masa became the more playful, and willful he was. And while Laro was confident he had taken all of Mikoto’s dire warnings to heart regarding Masa’s need to rest, he was almost equally certain that if asked, his lover would have a considerably different opinion on exactly how much rest was required.
Even now, Masa was doing anything but pushing him away. His mage’s silk covered arms gave up shoving playfully at Laro the minute his tongue grazed his collarbone. Instead Masa twined around his neck, arching forward in his arms to let him kiss wherever he wanted. “Laro.”
Too absorbed in the taste of Kuja’s skin to answer immediately, he traced a series of fine tendons up his mage’s neck to nip at his ear first. “You want something?”
“Bastard.” Laro touch was returned to him in kind, his lover tasting the edge of his jaw with needy little kisses. “If you make me spell out what ought to be perfectly obvious, I swear I will leave you and take up with someone else.” Teeth pricked his neck in a way meaning business. “It would serve you right if I took up with Gerrick.”
“He’d never have you. He likes getting the last word in too much.” Laro laughed at his own joke, and at Masa’s confounded expression. Squeezing his kitten close, he was amazed to find he no longer felt any jealousy regarding the distant soldier. Somehow he just didn’t find the young man so threatening anymore. Kuja had made his choice along time ago, after all. The months of nervousness that he had felt at the beginning of their relationship were his own fault. He had simply lacked the confidence to believe in his success, to believe that Kuja knew what he was doing, throwing his lot in with a soldier without much to recommend him. Time and events had clearly demonstrated to Laro, his kitten’s instincts were rarely wrong in the end. He pressed his face back against the genome’s neck. “I love you more than anything.”
“Show me.” Masa demanded roughly.
Pulling back to study his face, Laro found he was trapped by his lover’s blue-eyed stare. Masa’s look burned into him with something far warmer than simple affection. Given the choice of upsetting Mikoto, or disappointing his lover when he was obviously needed, he resolved to apologize humbly to the woman, should they get caught.
“As you command.” Laro agreed, slowly lowering them both onto the tangled remains of the bed.
*****
Kuja tapped his fingers against the arm of his chair, torn between being charmed at how it was possible, despite Laro’s generally tanned hue, for the large man to blush to the ears, and then being irritated beyond belief at Mikoto’s uncooperative attitude. Tearing his eyes away from where his lover was fussing with an already tidy bed, he settled them on the slim woman standing in front of him. She was just as obstinate as ever when she felt he was trying to slip one past her. He sighed at the lack of doctor-patient empathy she exhibited.
“I really don’t see what you’re so worked up about.” Shouting never worked with the woman, maybe her improved interpersonal skills would allow him a means of attack via more reasonable channels. “It wasn’t like we were planning a marathon session or anything. It was just a harmless bit of cuddling.”
Laro winced at the bluntness of his comment, but luckily he was well behind Mikoto, so she missed the look. She would have missed it anyway, given that she could only stare at him as if he had taken a blow to the head. “I really must ask you, what part of physical intercourse do you consider to be part of a regimen of strict rest and recuperation? I had assumed I could trust you both to be mature adults in this regard, but I now wonder if I ought to appoint Zidane to monitor your behavior when I am unavailable.”
“You don’t want to do that, Mikoto. Laro gets embarrassed in front of an audience. And despite our brother’s many travels, I’m not entirely sure he’s worldly enough to appreciate a lesson from me on the subject of sexuality without overheating. He strikes me as more of a ‘dip your wick and roll over’ type.”
“Kuja!”
To his amazement, he could detect the beginnings of a blush. He raised an eyebrow at the evidence, wondering if it meant that his little sister was embarrassed by association, or whether she had any experiences of her own already. Propriety was something a person had to learn, after all.
The old Mikoto wouldn’t have batted an eye in discussing
even the lewdest acts of sexual congress. She’d have probably made it sound
about as interesting as a lecture on high-energy physics, but she wouldn’t have
been embarrassed. Curious, he had to
ask, “And precisely where have you picked up your quibbles from, woman.
Certainly wasn’t
“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She sniffed primly. “But I would hardly call our brother a-” She fought with the expression he had used before giving up. “I know that Garnet is very satisfied with his performance in that regard!”
“I wouldn’t advise picking up morals from the Alexandrian court. They’re so dowdy and behind the times there.” Smiling at what she had revealed, he saved the tidbit to torture Zidane with later. “Well well, so Garnet is satisfied with such a juvenile husband? To be fair, he’s probably her first and only. She hardly has the experience to rate him by comparison.”
“We are not talking about Zidane.” Mikoto growled. “We are talking about you and your blatant refusal to heed some perfectly sensible instructions.”
Stretching his legs out on the footrest, he smirked as Laro made his escape. Apparently conversations about immanent mortality were ‘just-bearable’ to the former soldier, but frank discussions of his performance in bed were too much. He couldn’t blame the man. Mikoto’s voice grew rather shrill when irritated.
Kuja sighed. “We really need to work on your bedside manner, little sister. You’re supposed to encourage your patients to get well by cultivating their interests and letting them find ways to enjoy life again. You’re not supposed to imprison them in their suites and then bore them to death by forbidding them any small pleasures.”
“You could have done yourself serious damage!” She stood unmollified.
“We were exceptionally careful.” He disagreed. “And should I decide that I wish to avail myself of Mr. Nazer again, I assure you that we will continue to be careful. I do have some interest in my own health, after all.”
Kuja held up a hand to delay the rejoinder. “Since you don’t seem to be interested in asking, I will also point out that I feel fine. Better than I have in months. The modest exercise was doubtless good for me.”
Muttering something about false highs and endorphins, Mikoto caught his wrist for a pulse. The temporary truce heralded Zidane’s sudden arrival at the door. He looked at them both warily. “What were you two bitching each other out about this time? I could hear you shouting half way down the hall.”
“Sex.”
“Treatment.” Mikoto answered simultaneously, overruling his playful answer with a quelling look. Humoring her, he smiled agreeably at Zidane, letting the boy wonder whether his answer was a joke or not. The blond gave them both a confused look before shrugging and dismissing the matter entirely.
“Well I just wanted to stop by and see if you needed me for anything for the next day or so. Now that I seem to have all my blood back in my veins I thought I’d wander around and see the sights. Do a bit of exploring before you need to mess me up again.” Even Zidane wasn’t above mining for pity. Kuja was amused to see his younger brother give their sister a pathetic look. Unfortunately for Zidane, such things generally went right over Mikoto’s head. Her emotional awareness was simply too weak to pick up nuances.
“Maybe the Selwe will let you sign their treaty instead of me.” Kuja pondered idly. “Would save me a lot of fuss and bother, at any rate.”
“Nah, they have got a serious complex about you, as far as I can tell. They think you’re the greatest thing to ever happen to them. Half the bloody planet seems to.” Zidane laughed. “Hell if I can understand it, I think you’re just as nuts as ever.”
“Thank you.” He replied drolly. “Go exploring if you want. You’re just underfoot here and I can call you back when we have need of your assistance again.” Having masterfully derailed Mikoto’s plan for a chaperone, he turned to level an authoritative look in her direction. “Now then, why don’t we set aside our former debate for something far more relevant to the current moment.”
“Which is?” Her tail twitched in frustration.
Kuja gestured to the door Zidane had just come in by. “I feel almost certain that tomorrow I shall want to re-acquaint myself with this business of walking. Surely you won’t disagree, especially considering how much mischief I may get up to when forced to stay in bed.”
Baffled, Zidane stared at his two siblings as they glared at each other. “Um, guys, did I miss something?”
*****
After the altogether embarrassing conclusion to his otherwise perfect morning with Masa, Laro had decided to give the siblings some time alone together. He had had a deep suspicion that had he stayed in the room any longer, he’d have borne witness to fur and feathers flying. Sometimes Mikoto and her brother were frighteningly similar, even the stubborn set of their shoulders was the same. Whether birthed or designed through magic, it seemed that brothers and sisters could always find an excuse to fight. Laro just didn’t feel particularly comfortable being the topic of the current argument. However things were settled, he’d hear about it at dinner. Until then he was determined to make himself scarce, checking in with his peers and officers in a rare bout of conscientiousness about his forgotten duties.
Luckily for him, and for the army at large, there wasn’t much need for a general’s direct input during the process of disarmaments and pay outs. Slowly but surely, the forces he had marshaled into battle were being redistributed, many of the soldiers opting out to return to their various homes and family, others choosing to stay on a while longer to aid with reconstruction and policing. It was all rather interesting really, and far more benign than the sorts of commands he had undertaken over the years. Laro found himself drawn into an informal meeting where the annual harvests were discussed, and plans were drawn in case of food shortages in the spring. Afterwards he chatted with several young engineers who each proposed an equally innovative approach to refitting many of the army’s tents and supplies into new civilian uses.
Strolling back with two of his aides that had the latest reports from the south, he had the honor of bumping into the King himself. The man looked far better rested than he’d ever seen before. Apparently peace time was working wonders for a lot of people’s health. He dipped his chin to the monarch, wondering exactly how long it had been since they’d last set eyes on each other. Odd how even living in the same castle, he rarely needed to interact with the king himself. It didn’t help that each of them was rather retiring in their own way.
“General Nazer. I was actually thinking of trying to get word to you.” Up close, the king always gave the impression of being nearsighted. But his smile was hopeful as he waved off his usual bevy of attendants and clasped hands in greeting. “Our audience when you returned was far too abrupt, and while I’ve had the pleasure of meeting our guests since then, you’ve been hiding from me.”
“Mr. Zidane and Miss Mikoto are easily twice as entertaining as I am, your majesty.” Laro returned the friendly greeting. “And I admit. I’ve been uncomfortable leaving Ma- Mr. Kuja alone.”
“Well of course.” The king waved a hand dismissively, “I would hardly take you from such a personal duty. He is doing well I’m informed? Perhaps we could schedule a quiet evening entertainment soon and invite you both. I have been eager to thank him for all he has done for us, but Dofo has scolded me to patience.”
For a minute Laro had to pause, thrown by the relatively lengthily speech. It was rare to hear his monarch string more than a few words together on any given day, due to natural shyness and the rather formulaic nature of his duties. To have such a flurry of questions volleyed at him was a bit of a shock. It took another moment to remember what Duke Riquoi’s first name was, and so understand the final element of the king’s confession. Bowing slight, he offered his honest answer. “I’m sure Mr. Kuja would be very happy to receive any message or visit from you, majesty. He has recovered to the degree that he now finds his rooms rather tedious, and always interested in distraction.”
“Excellent, that’s excellent news.” The monarch smiled hesitantly. “I will send the duke to you as soon as preparations are made.”
Not entirely sure what preparations his king was talking about, Laro could only nod respectfully. The courtiers whisked the man away soon enough. Left perplexed he could only continue to meander his way down the long corridors, catching up with friends and officers.
Masa was up and about, when he returned to his room at last, intending to join his lover for dinner. Someone had kindly found him a cane, which he leaned on quite heavily, but other than that he was looking more than a little pleased with himself. Laro smiled at the charming sight. Behind his lover, there was a little breakfast table that had so far gone unused. It was set for their meal. He raised an eyebrow in silent inquiry. Masa only shuffled around and gestured that they would sit. Not really comfortable with it until the silver-haired man was safely settled in his chair. Laro conceded that despite the tremor he could see in Masa’s movements, it was good to see him upright.
“I thought we might eat like civilized people for a change.” His kitten offered mildly, lifting a cover off the closest dish.
“Alright.” Laro agreed as he poured the wine.
“And tomorrow… I think I shall go for a walk.” Masa smiled, blissfully ignoring the incredulous look shot his direction.
*****
Kuja looked up from his book, surprised at who was hovering at the door. Vivi seemed at a loss now that he had knocked and been admitted. Shuffling his little feet, the black mage did not have the courage to close the distance between them.
Feeling rather awkward about the situation himself, Kuja set his collection of plays aside and folded his hands in his lap, feeling rather as if he was giving an audience, rather than simply addressing a friend of his sister’s. He had spoken to Mikoto nearly every day, Zidane as well, while his brother was not out wandering his way ‘round the earth. Of Vivi, he had seen very little, except as his sister’s fleeting shadow. The healthier he had become, the less the black mage had stood attendance, such that it had been days since he could last recall catching sight of the little man.
The mage fiddled with his sleeves and then found his voice. “I hope I am not intruding.”
As child like in tone as the day he was created, the little creature was hauntingly familiar after a fashion. Black mages all looked the same after all, he had never bothered to create variations. But this one wasn’t mass produced like the others. This one he knew inside and out, having built him by hand.
“You are the first.” Kuja murmured more to himself than to his guest. “Your friends called you Vivi, didn’t they? Did you name yourself? Or did someone else gift you with it?”
“I was given my name.” The small mage reached up to settle its hat, seeking reassurance from the familiar. “Grandfather took me in. He decided that I should be called Vivi.”
“It is a fair name. There are worse ones.” Kuja smiled slightly. “I admit. I have been interested in speaking with you. But I was hardly going to blame you, had you chosen to avoid me. You have little cause to consider me a friend.”
“Many of us died in the war.” Vivi spoke softly. “Many more of us died afterwards. It was very sad.”
“Mikoto has been working to correct this, I gathered. Laro has told me something of his adventures. Has she been of use?”
Vivi blinked and then visibly brightened; his pleasure about his friend’s achievements obvious. “Miss Mikoto has done many wonderful things for us. She is very wise. She is always looking for ways to improve our design.”
“She _is_ rather brilliant, isn’t she.” Kuja rested his chin on his hand, amused to find he was actually inclined to be pleased about the compliment to his sister. “She’s still a little blunt. Forceful, for my tastes, but those habits will relax in time.”
Tapping his fingers against his chin he voiced a question he had wondered about since hearing his lover’s description of the Black Mage village. “So, for the most part, your lives progress… satisfactorily? Is freedom everything you wished for?”
“Oh yes.” Vivi gestured eloquently. “Together with the genomes, we manage to have almost everything we need. Even when things are difficult, we remember that we have ourselves, we have our future that we can make with our own hands.”
The little mage had taken a few steps forward in his excitement and checked himself again. “I even have a son now, thanks to Mikoto’s efforts. He wishes to explore the world, as I did when I was young. I never grow tired of watching him develop.”
“A son?” Kuja tilted his head. “How remarkable.”
“Mikoto is very wise.” Vivi repeated himself softly.
“Indeed.” He considered the sun as it slipped just slightly below the rooftops on the far side of the city. His current apartment wasn’t as familiar as the one he had shared with Laro, but the hospital complex commanded much better views of the core of his borrowed homeland. It was strange how everything was so alien, and yet still comforting. Kuja wondered what Vivi and the others from Gaia made of it. To them it was just an odd place to visit, no doubt. Vivi, at least, seemed wistful for his home.
“You’ve come a long way just to be her friend in this place. With luck her chore here will be over by the end of tomorrow and you can make your plans to go home.”
The little mage twisted his oversized hands together, nervousness returning. “In truth, I also came because I wanted to speak with you.”
“After our last encounter, I’m amazed that I have anything to say that you’d have any interested in.” Kuja couldn’t help but be curious. “It seems that you’ve come an altogether ridiculously long way if all you want is to berate me for my past actions.”
“For good or ill, you gave us life.” Vivi shrugged. “We have made our peace with that. For the gift, we thank you humbly, even if the reasoning behind it was despicable.”
“Well said, little mage.” Kuja wasn’t offended. Really, it was hard to contemplate being chewed out by someone so small and rolly-polly. The black mages were designed for economy of material, and for their magical prowess, but even so, he had a vague memory of wanting them to look _somewhat_ sinister. The specially made Black Waltzes had possessed an authoritative air at the least. Vivi however had a tendency towards clownishness when he moved.
“Mikoto- Mikoto has done many things for us.” Vivi began
slowly. “But she- everything she knows about us is what you left behind in
“And there is something you feel she is incapable of? What knowledge do you seek?”
The mage turned to look out the window. “We are not ashamed of our powers, our ability to control fire and ice, wind and time, but it is somewhat distressing to us that there is no balance.”
“How do you mean?” Kuja mused.
“Why is it, that none of us have the ability to heal? Why is it that there is no ability for white magic among us?” Vivi pondered aloud. “We cannot help but think that this is a flaw, but Mikoto cannot explain it.”
“It was hardly my intent to design an army of healers.” Kuja pointed out with certain humor. “You were constructed and filled with such energies as would be useful, nothing more and nothing less.”
“Do you know how frustrating it is?” Vivi turned back to him with glowing eyes. “Can you understand, what is like to have a wounded friend, or a sick child, and have all the power in the world, and still be unable to help?”
The little mage shook his head angrily. “What use is our magic, if all it is good for is rending and ruining. What we need now is something better. We need to grow beyond just our war-like origin and become something more, something self sustaining!”
“Mikoto has certainly seen to that. You have your son to boast of, after all.”
“A son I would have lost to a snake bite, had Mikoto not distilled a potion as quickly as she had.” Vivi shook his head again. “There must be a way. You created us, you know everything there is to know about our construction. Is there nothing we can do? Are we doomed to be little better than war machines forever?”
Kuja stood slowly and walked out onto the balcony. Turning his face into the breeze stirred up with the setting sun, he contemplated the red-orange tinge to the tiled roof below him. Strands of his hair lifted and tickled his cheeks also picking up the red-orange color of the light, reminding him of trances and transformations. How odd to hear his own internal questioning of fate coming from such an unlikely source.
// And so the prototype questions’
his maker. Asking why it has to be so, asking for some hope for the future… It’s
a wonder I still don’t bear the scars from your answer,
“You don’t ask for a simple thing, Vivi.” He gripped the thick stone railing a moment and then let it go. “It has been a long time since I’ve thought of such things as what you are asking. Even my memory isn’t infallible, and I lack the tools I used to have.”
“If we do not ask you now, we may never have another chance.” The little mage fussed with his coat. “Tomorrow Mikoto will attempt to heal you. It is not without risk, for you, for Zidane. I worry. If something goes wrong-”
“An opportunity lost, hmm? It’s a fair worry.”
“Even if you could only explain a little of your design. Perhaps Mikoto could make some use of it?” The small man was persistent.
“The mist from which you were constructed has both light and dark aspects to it; as do all souls.” Kuja spoke his thoughts aloud. “The dark aspect, I focused and refined. That is what you exhibit when you give shape to your will. The light aspect, I used as raw energy. It is that element to your energies that keeps you ‘alive’ in the manner that you are; the raw power of animation and even your awareness of self.”
“To change this balance within you, without very careful study, could result in you burning up your fundamental life force with every spell you cast. What good is a healer who dies in trying to save another?” He turned back and gave Vivi a considering look. “Ironically it is that ‘goodness’ that vitalizes you, that inevitably made you slip from my control, I wager. If I had reversed the balance, and powered your bodies with wickedness, but let you draw your magic from the lighter aspect, what would you have become then? Cruel healers, of some sort, it is hard to imagine.”
“Would it be possible to sacrifice a small amount of our dark energies, in trade for a small amount of light?”
“Add a little wickedness to your nature in exchange for a weak talent at healing others?” Kuja nodded, “Aye, that would be the best solution, but it would be a cruel thing to test out on the unwitting I think.”
“Mikoto would find a way.”
Turning the idea over, Kuja had to smile. “She just might. But even you must admit, creativity is not her strong point. Even with the tree she made for you, I’d wager she was inspired by the remains of the Ilfa Tree I left behind. Mikoto works best with a template.”
“So it is hopeless then.” Vivi sighed softly. “I had feared as much.”
“Perhaps.” Kuja shifted to look over his shoulder, weighing his petitioner’s request. “But that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth an attempt. You’re in luck; I’ve become quite a fan of lost causes lately.”
*****
Laro returned from a meeting with the regional council to find Kuja’s room quite empty. Even knowing his lover was more than well enough to go out and about into the castle; his absence caused a momentary chill. Given the option of sitting around waiting for Masa to come back, or checking his usual haunts, Laro immediately chose the later.
The most obvious place to begin was down the hall in his sibling’s suite. Mikoto and Zidane were engrossed in a child’s game of cards, and blinked in surprise to find their brother had slipped past them. Laro made light of the event for their benefit, and assured, they left him to his investigations.
There was no one in either of the open walkways bordering the gardens. No one was hiding in his old suite either, but he hadn’t expected anyone there. Everything Masa or he himself had wanted was already relocated to their new rooms. The old ones, while nice, were at the moment just storage.
Not wanting to pester the duke, he questioned a servant instead. They hadn’t seen Masa paying a visit to the east wing, nor had any of his guardsman seen the man prowling the map rooms. Growing genuinely curious, Laro headed downstairs to the college quadrangle to see what the students knew. Somehow it was no surprise at all, to pick up his trail at the door to the library.
Following the directions of the girl at the desk, he made his way through the labyrinth of books to where the workrooms in the back were lit by double shielded-lanterns. Masa stood with his back to the door, deep in conversation with the little black mage. Both of them were far to occupied in studying a paper on the table to notice his arrival, apparently arguing its relative merits. Amused, he tapped gently on the doorframe to get their attention.
“It’s past the time when all good little scholars retire for the evening, you know.”
“Laro?” Masa turned to give him a surprised smile. “What ever are you doing here?”
“Looking for you.” He nodded to Vivi and invited himself in for a closer look. The paper they were studying was actually filled with handwritten equations. Laro blinked and grimaced, realizing that half the symbols defined were a complete mystery to him. “You know, I used to think I had a grasp on mathematics-”
“You still do, I’m sure.” His lover picked up a pen and added a new line with a contemplative look. “But this isn’t exactly math. Closer to chemistry, really, or perhaps alchemy…”
“I thought alchemy was a myth, turning lead into gold or some such.” Laro took the opportunity to catch Masa’s shoulders as the silvery man was bent over his notes, gently squeezing them in greeting. Far from pulling away from the gesture of affection, Masa finished his annotation and stood straighter; leaning his direction to welcome a proper embrace.
“It’s an easy enough conversion. You’d need to extract seven neutrons and release three electrons for every atom however. The process would require a substantial amount of energy, and likely some unpleasant waste products.” The mage’s explanation, like most of the conversations from the past weeks, went right over Laro’s head. “An endeavor of that nature almost always requires more time and effort than just mining the gold in the first place.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about. But I’ll take your word for it.” Laro rested his chin on his lover’s head, not particularly concerned that he was a hopeless dunce by comparison. “So will this calculation of yours take much longer? Or can we resume this in the morning?”
Masa leaned back further into his chest, trusting him to support his slight weight. “Tomorrow will likely be too late, as you well know. The procedure will take considerable time, and Mikoto will want to start early.”
“All the more reason why you should be resting.” Laro fought to control his sudden fears. If no one else was acting outwardly worried, he wasn’t about to make a scene. Ironically Masa was the first person to have even mentioned his upcoming ordeal all day. Laro wondered if the general silence on the talking-point was for his lover’s benefit, or for his own. Grudgingly, he conceded that it wouldn’t be the first time that people had tried to ‘buffer’ him from bad news concerning his kitten.
“Wait for me a moment, we’re just about finished.” Pushing his silver hair back from his face, Masa turned to the patiently waiting little mage. “I beg your indulgence, Vivi. It seems that I have come as far as can be gone, without an element of experimentation involved. And as I mentioned before, I have no equipment for it here.”
“Will Mikoto understand your theory? If we present it to her?” Vivi tilted his head, his oversized hat giving the impression it would fall off with the gesture.
“Very likely.” The genome pursed his lips. “But I feel I ought to warn you that there is significant risk involved, for all the reasons I mentioned before. It may take one or two attempts before a stable balance of coefficients is achieved. She won’t have access to the simulation environments that I did on Terra.”
“And what would happen to those created with unstable coefficients?” The mage questioned softly.
“Premature burnout would seem the most likely thing. There are other, less pleasant possibilities.”
“Death, then.” Vivi stated. “In some form or another.”
“It is very likely that some should die.” Kuja agreed. “Given your recent ordeals, and newly founded community... I cannot say I recommend this course of action.”
Not understanding, Laro still didn’t like the sound of it. He knew better than to jump in on the middle of a conversation however, and so had to settle for squeezing his lover a little closer, providing what silent support he could. Masa raised a hand to cover his, accepting the offer for what it was as they waited for the black mage to reach his conclusions.
“We will consult with Mikoto. And with each other.” Vivi sighed heavily. “This is not a decision I can make by myself. We would all have to agree to it, or agree to accept our current design.”
“That would seem the wisest course.” Masa agreed. “Perhaps she can use these equations as a start for a better theory. I cannot say.”
“Thank you for trying.” The little mage carefully folded the large page several times, until it was small enough to fit in a coat pocket. “I will tell the others how you have changed. I will tell them what you attempted on our behalf.”
“Good luck.” Masa sighed as Vivi disappeared into the stacks.
Left in the alcove with the silently flickering light, and a silently thoughtful mage, Laro settled for letting the man reach the end of his meditation. Strangely, the library didn’t seem such an odd place to cuddle. It had a private sort of feel to it, when all the students had returned to their rooms. At length, Masa inhaled deeply, and seemed to gather himself together. Laro kissed him on the temple to remind him he wasn’t alone. “Are you all right?”
“I find it peculiar; the way life parallels itself sometimes. There’s a lesson in that somewhere.” Turning to wrap his arms around him, Masa rested his cheek against Laro’s coat. “For doing so little today, I feel completely worn out.”
“You’re still recovering.” He offered gently, taking the opportunity to cradle the back of his lover’s head. Masa’s long mane felt cool as it swept over his knuckles.
The mage shook his head. “It’s not that. More- I don’t know, I’m just tired of people, is all.”
Laro shifted his grip until he had an arm around the slight man’s shoulders and slowly guided him out of the library. He was just civilized enough not to sweep Masa up off his feet and carry him off to their rooms, but the temptation was definitely there. “People? Or being reminded of Gaia?”
“Maybe I’m just sick of ‘serious’ things.” His kitten shook
his head playfully. “I never used to take anything terribly seriously back on
Gaia. Well, no, I took a few things seriously, but I never talked about them. Now it seems that everyone is coming to me for
knowledge, as if my guesses are better than others. Everything I say will be
examined, analyzed, weighed for merit. It’s exhausting being so erudite all the
time.”
Laro laughed softly as he lead the way back upstairs. “In that case I will promise to not ask you anything more challenging this evening than whether you would like the soufflé or the chicken for dinner.”
“If I eat anymore I shall become unforgivably fat.” Masa sighed wearily. “And then what will I do to keep your eye from roving?”
“I don’t know, plump might be a good look for you.” Laro grinned. Reaching back he caught his lover’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “You could look cute.”
The genome rolled his eyes, not inhibited by the love he felt for the larger man from punching him in the arm. “Are you insane? I would look ridiculous. I refuse to be anything _like_ plump!”
“Well just have to make sure you exercise then.” Laro pulled him closer as they walked the empty hallways, eventually managing to tuck an arm around his waist.
*****
Masa bided his time until they were back in the secure comfort of their rooms before goading his soldier to cuddle him closer. He sighed happily as Laro ran an appreciative hand down the side of his body, beneath his robe. Taking his time undressing them both, he blithely ignored the dinner that had been thoughtfully laid out.
“We could test your idea of exercise now?”
“Mikoto will kill
“She’s small, you could take her.” Kuja disagreed. He slipped a hand beneath Laro’s shirt and happily slid his fingers across the warm muscle he found beneath.
“She’ll get Zidane to do it…” Distracted by Masa’s non-verbal persuasion Laro’s heart wasn’t in the argument.
“Hmmm, that would be problematic.” Kuja murmured, teasing his lover’s throat with his mouth as he did. “But really, Zidane will probably blush beet-red and pass out if he caught us in the middle of something.”
“So you’re saying our best defense is for us to just get on with it and face the music later?” At this Laro had to laugh again. It took him only a moment to make his decision, which in soldierly fashion he acted upon immediately. Yanking back half the neatly made blankets, he sat down on the mattress and pulled his lover forward to settle in his lap.
Kuja sighed quite happily as they settled into a former tangle, leaching off of Laro’s constant heat as he had so often done before. Amused, he wondered if the man was ever cold. With a suddenness that made him catch his breath, he realized that someday he’d likely find out. The idea of a future together with Laro clicked into place. There was something terribly beautiful about it, almost unreal. A future that simple? With no apparent draw backs? It couldn’t possibly work.
Feeling his lover suddenly tighten his grip, Laro looked down, seeming to feel how at a lost Kuja had become. “Hey, what’s wrong. We don’t have to do this, kitten. I was happy just sleeping next to you…”
“It’s not that.” Kuja shook his head, feeling stupid. “It’s just-”
“Just what?” Rolling them on the bed until he could loom over Masa like the gentle giant he was, Laro kissed his forehead. “Tell me.”
“I just realized. That a year from now, if I want - if you want - I could wake up in the morning, and be just as happy as I will be tomorrow morning.”
The soldier frowned as he deciphered the comment, and then frowned some more, trying to see what about the idea would make Masa unhappy. “Well, if the choice is up to me, I would hope you’d be happily waking up to me for a good many years.”
He shrugged. “But how I’ve felt has hardly changed. You knew I was mad for you from the moment we met.” Kissing his kitten on the forehead again, Laro sounded a little more worried when he went on. “Of course, you might change your mind. Find someone else.”
“Don’t be silly.” Kuja replied absently. He reached up, catching Laro’s face between his hands. “It’s just that I have a hard time fathoming it. What I could have possibly done to deserve such a ‘happy-ending’ I can’t help but think that this is some sort of mistake.”
“Bit of a downer aren’t you?” Far from being alarmed, Laro’s smile shone whitely in the darkness. “You and Mikoto, I swear. The more I talk to her, the more I see the family resemblance.”
“We inherited
“There isn’t a pessimistic bone in that boy’s body.” Laro agreed solemnly. “He’s as cheerful as chick-a-dee, and is a morning person as well. There’s something deeply wrong with that.”
“There, you see? He fits the role. The happy hero always gets his ‘ever after.’ It’s how the stories always go.” Still cupping Laro’s face, Masa sat up a little and kissed him gently. “Villians don’t get happy endings, and so I’m worried.”
“You’re hardly a villain.” The soldier kissed back, just as lightly. “Maybe once, but that was a different story, wasn’t it.”
“Here and now? This story is ours.” Pulling back, he considered the matter with a quizzical eyebrow raised. “And besides, if you look at it a slightly less egotistical way, aren’t I supposed to be ‘the hero’ in this relationship? What about my happy ending? I think that after all the bloody effort I’ve gone through in the last twenty years; I deserve to get some sort of reward.”
Even with his blatantly teasing tone, the man had a definite point. Kuja blinked, turning the idea over in his head, testing the angles. If seen from Laro’s perspective, everything really had worked out perfectly, or would shortly. He smiled as he came to terms with the idea that he was a necessary and natural prize at the end of someone else’s epic journey. The worry that had twisted in his chest faded as quickly as it had come.
Laro seemed to realize he had stuck on something and played it up for all it was worth. “Isn’t that how the plays always go? Good overcomes. He retires to his in a sky-castle. Has lots of sex with a biddable lady?”
“I am neither biddable, or a lady.” Kuja pointed out archly.
Laro gave him a mournful look. “You’re going to spoil my dream by arguing with me all the time for the next thirty years, aren’t you.”
“Castles in the sky are also pretty hard to come by, I’ve heard.” He replied drolly.
“Have to stick with the original plan, I guess.” The soldier sighed.
“And what was that, pray tell? I don’t recall contributing to any ‘plans’.” Kuja nipped his nose.
“You, me, a small sailboat, and a relaxing sea voyage.” The dark skinned man smiled. “How about I’ll let you pick the destination, will that appease you?”
“It will do for now.” Kuja grinned.
“And are you content with your ‘ending’?”
“Modestly. Yes. Why?” The silver haired man blinked with perfect innocence. True to form his lover gave him a pathetic look.
Laro sighed plaintively, “Because you had proposed some exercise earlier, and I was wondering if you’d changed your mind.”
“And miss my last opportunity to have some fun before Mikoto has me flat on my back again for the foreseeable future? Not for the world.” Pulling his lover closer, Kuja all but purred.
*****
*****
One more chapter? Two? I have no idea anymore. Time to bag this rabbit.
--Lunar.