_Got Cable?_


Looking up from his rapidly diminishing stack of reports, Sephiroth decided that maybe a break was in order. The reports weren't that boring, but if he didn't move to intervene soon, he had grave doubts that his aide and sometime best friend wouldn't end up permanently embedded in the crawlspace behind his entertainment center, head first into his abandoned Betamax collection. A muffled 'damnit' and a suspiciously painful sounding 'clunk' proved he was probably right.

"Zack?" He didn't really want to ask what the man thought he was doing. He was sure he didn't want to offer to assist. Left with simply demanding the southerner sit on his couch and behave himself, he decided it probably wouldn't go over well with his current audience.

The dark haired man shifted slowly back towards vertical, leaning heavily on the prefab shelving as his head and shoulders cleared the back of the unit with a groan. "Lost the friggin' screwdriver."

"I'm sure it will keep the candy wrappers and fossilized pizza company without complaint." Sephiroth blandly ignored the death glare shot his direction and turned a page. "Have you considered, I don't know, calling the cable company?"

"What the hell would I do that for?" Zack stretched with carefree abandon, spine cracking in several wince inducing ways. "Borrowing a feed from next door is dead easy, and I KNOW that Captain Singh gets both feeds off of ShinraLateNight."

Still determined, the dark haired man tried to retrieve his missing tool by approaching the problem via the side. A few minutes of cursing and he was flat on the carpet, up to the shoulder underneath his entertainment center as he pawed at the dust bunnies beneath. Sephiroth watched the little bits of accumulated filth puff out onto the carpet with a sigh. "... I know I pay you enough to get cable, Zack. What the hell are you spending it on?"

"It's not a matter of costs, damn it. It's the principle of the thing!" His friend grumbled in defeat and went to remove himself. "I mean, two-hundred a month? Just for stupid digital menus that don't even block the advertisements? Come on!"

Zack's argument faded as he continued to look for leverage against the floor. Sephiroth watched warily as the items on the higher shelves rattled threateningly. Another abortive jerk proved his assumption was correct.

The man was stuck.

It took a few more seconds for the southerner to come to the same conclusion, grumbling and trying to delicately lift the lowest shelf a little to buy some leeway. Sephiroth tried not to laugh at Zack's troubles, and ended up coughing instead. He wondered if maybe this wasn't like pet ownership, in a way, as he stood up. Zack hadn't even gotten to the whining and scratching stage yet, but it was only a matter of time until he did.

"If I lift this, it'll probably fall apart." He critiqued the cheap shelving.

"Maybe if we just take the TV off of it? I don't really care about the rest, but the TV is new."

A few seconds of checking if there was enough slack in the cable, and Sephiroth hoisted the widescreen monster-of-a-set up off the lowest deck of the shelving unit. It was almost too big to hang onto conveniently, but with minor fumbling he got it propped up on one hip, using his free hand to hold a precariously perched pot of loose change steady as Zack wrenched his arm out from underneath everything. The SOLDIER got free and proceeded to sit on the carpet and swear as he inspected a scrape on his arm.

"Do you mind?" He murmured, pondering the potential entertainment value of dropping ten pounds of random pocket change on his friend's head to remind him. Sephiroth had limited patience for being used as storage. Zack must have seen something in his expression because he was bouncing to his feet with an 'oop' and relieving him of the pot without delay. Sephiroth settled the TV back into it's resting place with precision, staring at his dust covered hands with dismay. "Your apartment is a cesspool of bacteria and allergens."

"Cesspool implies moisture." Zack looked back at him with a laugh. "Just take your gloves off, you can wash them later."

It took less effort to do as he was told than to debate it. Dropping them on the table, he decided if he was going to do it, he might as well go all the way. He caught Zack where the man stood surprised, holding the southerner's face between his hands and claiming a kiss for services rendered.

*****