_Slap Stick_
*ff7 zack snippet*

Leaning against the wall next to the airstrip, Zack was staring out over the field with a remarkably closed expression on his face. Even after watching him for several minutes he couldn't fathom what the young officer was thinking. It was unusual to say the least.

Waiting like the rest of their little team for the transport helicopters to arrive, Captain Jain quietly joined him at the railing of the command shack. The large man offered him a slight knod in deference, and then turned to watch Zack too, his lips twitching in mild amusement.

Sephiroth allowed a tiny smile, feeling more at ease with the stoic SOLDIER than with most of his men. Pavan was a hard man not to like. He was impossibly earnest and honorable, gaining something of a reputation as humorless because of it. For that alone, the general recognized him as a kindred spirit. Seeing as he was able to catch the man in a relaxed mood, he tilted his head slightly in the officer's direction. "I don't think I've ever seen him think so hard about anything since the day we met. What is he plotting, do you think...?"

"Who, Zack?" The captain looked at him, surprised at his random question. "I don't know anything about him plotting..." Pavan turned back to stare at the object of their study.

"Hmmmm," Sephiroth shrugged as well. He hadn't really been expecting an answer, and he was the first to admit he was miserable at making small talk.

His officer completed his observation with a snort of laughter and opened his mouth to speak only to hesitate at the last minute. Official poise warred with the desire to share some amusing bit of un-Pavan-like gossip as the man glanced carefully over at him. Sephiroth made no move to sway him either way, and so was rather gratified when gossip won by a slim margin. "... Actually, I sorta know that face..."

"Do you?" He prompted mildly.

"You know that Thomson and I started at the same time, right sir?" Pavan paused to gather his thoughts. "So yeah, I've probably known him as long as anyone, with bumping into him on and off since then... especially at the begining. We'd go through drills and such."

"So you're a regular 'Zack-Expert', I'll remember that next time I need someone to interpret for him." Sephiroth snorted in amusement.

"No way, when he slips into jiber-jabber mode I can't understand him worth shit. If you need a translator, sir, we'll have to find another bush rat."

"One is enough for this unit I think." He shook his head. "I don't think I could survive two of them at a time."

They both paused a moment in silent contiplation of a second 'Zack' finding his way into the SOLDIER program. Captain Jain almost laughed. "Anyway, modest expert that I am. I'd be willing to bet that there is absolutely nothing going through that man's head right now. When he looks all thoughtful and serious like that, it's a given that he's sleeping with his eyes open."

"... Is that really possible?"

"Well, maybe not _sleeping_ but totally zoned out at least." Pavan shrugged. "He used to do it all the time during those drills on parade grounds when we'd be standing for hours like little dominos ready to fall. Used to make me nuts the way he could just tune out like that," and suddenly the man smiled, the first Sephiroth had ever seen. It was gone as soon as it had arrived, but was remarkable just the same.

"It's his secret, you see. That's how he could always manage to party all night, and then function all day." The SOLDIER elucidated, warming to the subject. "He just takes these little thirty-minute mental vacations, or an hour if he can get away with it, sorta props up against something, and goes off to god knows where... wakes up in a bit all refreshed and ready to rumble. Uncanny if you ask me."

"Facinating."

"Heh. Weird. But potentially very funny."

Sephiroth quirked an eyebrow in amusement. "Why do you say that?"

"Well, the problem with him zoning out, is that really, he's oblivous. Might as well be asleep..." Turning, the large man ducked his head into the communication hutch to borrow Jake's lucky tennisball. The younger officer, also from Corel, relinquished his prize only after firm promises that it wouldn't be lost or destroyed. Returning, the black man tossed and caught the ball once, getting a feel for its weight.

"He'll dodge."

"If he's awake he will." Pavan agreed as he pitched toy in a generous, if highly accurate arc.

The little green ball bounced off the top of Zack's head and rebounded into the tall grass nearby with an audible 'thwack.' In a way it reminded Sephiroth of the old cartoons he caught occassionally during late night marathons. The southerner's response to the unlikely assault was also highly comical, lurching to his feet and staring around him in utter confusion while rubbing the top of his head. The ball, lost amidst the grass and weeds was well disguised so the man had no clue as to the source of his injury. Sephiroth managed to keep his expression cool right up until his aide stared perplexedly upwards at the clear sky. The idea of Zack coming upto him later complaining that the sky was falling was too much, and he had to cover his mouth to hide his grin. Captain Jain was doing little better, fighting his laughter, but not entirely succeeding in maintaining a straight face.

Zack looked their direction by chance, eyes narrowing a little in suspicion as he stared first at Pavan and then at him. Regaining control of his expression, Sephiroth stuffed his hands back in his pockets and offered the SOLDIER a cool look in return. It was obvious that the southerner was trying to some how to reconcile the idea of he and Captain Jain, and some sort of prank, and failing. Sometimes having a reputation for being a boring rules-dick paid off in petty situations like this. Zack shook his head and resumed his search of the surrounding area for a more likely culprit. When the shaggy headed officer bothered to walk around the side of the garage to see if anyone was hiding, Pavan gave up and started to laugh again. Done for the day, Sephiroth still had to admit his aide's antics were a rare source of entertainment.

"You'd better dispose of the evidence..." He nodded to where Jake's ball lay half hidden in the grass. "But thank you for the tip, and the demonstration. It was very... informative."

"Yes sir."

Pavan started down the stairs, but Zack was already coming back around the corner. As luck would have it, his new angle on the crime scene proved to be better for seeing the cheerful green peeking out amidst the dry brown stalks. Snatching it up, he promptly recognized it and made a comical face. "Jake, you Asshole! I'm going to make you eat this damn ball!"

"I didn't do it!" The lieutenant popped out of the small booth, took one look at Zack brandishing his ball with a manic grin, and bolted across the field, laughing all the way. "I swear man, it was Pavan! He said he needed the thing for something..."

"Yeah, right! You just want me to pick fights with someone bigger than me so you can get an extra laugh..."

"No No! I swear! Ack!"

Watching the pair of them go down in a school-boy tussle was also funny, but sadly, lacked dicipline. Sephiroth watched it a moment longer and shook his head, waving for his captian to take care of it. "'Choppers are coming in, tell those two to get back here."

"Yessir." Tossing a strictly-business salute, Pavan moved to obey.